After reading YourSphere's Mary Kay Hoal's article "How to Form Good Technology Habits Early", I decided to re-post one of my very first blogs concerning parental involvement.  Here it is:

Whether we want to protect our children from online predators or from damaging their reputation, we need to open the lines of communication between us and our children. It seems to me that this is probably the simplest and most effective way to protect our children online. If we start at an early age by being involved in our children's online experience we can point them in the right direction and help them make wise choices about how they use the internet. We gain the added benefit of learning what our children our doing online and what sites they visit. It is important that we know what features these sites offer, what privacy is afforded, what information our children share on these sites and so on. We need to know what, and who, our children our being exposed to on these sites.

I hear far too often from parents that they don't know much about the internet and don't want to learn much about it either. We may not be that knowledgeable about the internet but we cannot use that as an excuse to let our children "run wild" online.  Just as we would be involved in other aspects of your child's life (school, sports, church, etc.), we need to be involved in their online life. We must teach our children that safety rules in the real world should be followed online as well.

If your child wanted to go somewhere on the weekend, you would ask the following questions:

Where are you going? or What are you going to be doing?
Who are you going to be with?
How long will you be there?

We need to ask these same questions when they go online:

1. Where are you going? or What are you going to be doing? = What sites are you visiting? (MySpace, Facebook, Instant Messaging, Chat Rooms, Games, etc.)

2. Who are you going to be with? = Who do you talk to online? (Is it just people they know in real life or are they talking to anyone they happen to meet online?)

3. How long are you going to be there? = How long are you going to be online? (We need to set limits on how much time our children spend online)

Use the time you spend with your child online to talk with them about these and other concerns you may have. Just as you would teach your child "real world" safety, teach them how to stay safe online.

Here are some internet safety tips to consider:

1. Talk to your child about Internet safety concerns in a positive way and give them the opportunity to make safety resolutions that you can both live with. Set up agreements and guidelines about computer use.

2. Spend time online with your child and discuss their online experiences just as you would ask them about their day. Be open to learning about the technology so you can keep up with them.

3. If your child belongs to a social networking site (MySpace, Facebook, Xanga, etc.), look closely at what information they have posted in their member profiles and blogs, including photos and videos. Tell them why it’s important to keep information like their name, address, phone number and financial information to themselves. This information could be used to identity them or locate them offline.

4. Use privacy settings to restrict who can access your child’s website. Know who your child’s online friends are. Emphasize that they should only add people as friends if they know them in person. Discuss the risks associated with adding people they don’t know.

5. Your child should only post information that you – and they – are comfortable with others seeing. Remind your child that once they post information online it is there forever. Even if your child deletes their profile, older versions still exist on others’ computers.

 One of the most common issues I encounter when speaking with people about staying safe online is understanding Facebook's privacy settings. They can be confusing and they are constantly changing.  As a result some people simply accept Facebook's default settings and assume that if it's good enough for Facebook that it's good enough for them. The problem with this is that you may actually be sharing more information than you realize.

One of the reasons for this is that Facebook relies on advertisers to make money. Facebook in turn provides certain information about its users, which allows them to market specifically to each user based on that user's likes, interests, etc. For more information on what is shared with advertisers and outside parties, check out this link http://www.facebook.com/settings/?tab=privacy#!/policy.ph.

If you actually read the privacy policy you will probably be surprised what information you share when using applications in Facebook, such as Farmville. A certain amount of your information is also shared through your friends when they use third-party applications. A brief overview of this is available at http://www.facebook.com/privacy/explanation.php/.

The good news is that the privacy settings are completely customizable. You can choose to allow everyone to view your photos or just a select few of your choosing. You can choose to limit what information is shared about you through your friends. You can even choose whether your name shows up in the public search on Facebook.

The bottom line is this: You control what you put on Facebook and what is shared with others. Become familiar with Facebook's privacy and account settings and see what you are currently sharing. If you see that you're sharing more than you want, change the settings until you are comfortable with them. If you still feel that you're sharing too much information, you can always deactivate your account.  Try uProtect.it from Reputation.com, which offers an additional privacy layer on top of Facebook.  You can also try Bitdefender Safego to help protect you from exposing too much private data.

 

Have you ever thought about what your online presence says about you?  If you Googled yourself, what would you find?  Would it be something that you want everyone to see?  Is it something that you want your parents, teachers, potential employers, current employers, college admissions officers, police or a stranger knowing about you?  Millions of people use social media sites such as Facebook, blogs, photo/video sharing sites and other internet sites everyday to post information without realizing that it could be reaching thousands, if not millions, of people. 

Before we post anything online, we need to ask ourselves the following questions:
1.    Who could potentially be looking at what I post?
2.    How could they interpret or percieve what I post?
3.    Are there things I should keep personal?
4.    How will what I am about to post affect me from one year from now?  Five?  Ten?
5.    How will what I post affect others? 
6.    Would I want ___________ (Family, boss, police , stranger, etc.) to see what I posted?